• Home
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Sarahah
Powered by Blogger.

سارة هنناني

If I could describe 2019 in a word, then it would be roller-coaster. There were too many surprises, highs, countless mental breakdowns in between throughout these 12 months. If 2018 taught me to love myself first before anyone else, to choose myself over and over again, then I've learned to let go of things that beyond my control this year.

I wouldn’t lie of the fact that I’m not even close to happy studying in UiTM Puncak Alam. I have been longing for my life in Segamat that I wished God would let me continue my degree there. Alas, He didn’t.

'

My studies have been way too rocky this year, I even forgot how does it feel being smart. Perhaps if you were to see my brain, please send them back to me as soon as possible. It has been a year in UiTM Puncak Alam, yet pursuing my degree there was, and still kind of nightmare and disaster I've always wanted to avoid. Everything doesn't seem right as if I was heading to failure rather than success. It’s not that I am not capable to do it, I obviously can but there’s something that has been missing from myself ever since I began my degree and the fact that I don’t know what is it makes it more irrational.

And the reality is, there is no way out instead of face whatever life throws at me whether I like it or not because it was my choice in the first place. I hope, I have the audacity to blame others for what had happened but I couldn’t because I knew I was the one who put Bachelor of Business Administration (Hons) in Finance as my first choice and that’s when my heart died.

Even though I’m no longer that smart girl I used to be, but I decided to embrace and stay true to what I love doing which is writing. And that is one of the things that I have achieved this year. I’m holding onto it and never letting it go because I believe one day this blog would bring me somewhere to the place where I truly belong. Even if it’s not meant to be, my love for telling stories and desire to inspire others through writing would remain alive.



Life can be cruel sometimes if you are a dreamer, and I understood that there will never be an easy route to reach the point of life where I wish I want to be. I’ve realized when we have to do something that we don’t like, we are easily directed to more, and more disappointments, dissatisfactions, frustrations every single day.

In spite of that, I’ve learned the one who gets to decide how the future looks like is me, myself and not anyone else. I have to be bold enough to pick up the shattered pieces left on my own because no one isn't going to do that for me. No matter how many people rooting for us, constantly giving us support but the battle is within us so always let ourselves win.

When we spend thinking on something that bothers us, something that we can’t do anything about, and when we allow ourselves to feel negative emotions hence it would only tear us down and break us apart. Imagine, if your results are close enough to score an A, with only 0.01 difference and you keep on wondering if only you put some little extra effort, perhaps you could do well and secured an A. Perhaps. The anecdote is we could assume anything to happen the way we direly want it to, but only if God says so.

Therefore, let go of the things we can’t control. Let go of the past and move on.

We have to bear in mind things can’t always go as planned. We can’t change the past so don’t waste time thinking about all of the ways wishing we could have done or said something differently.

We obviously can’t, so dwell on it. The more we wallow on these negative thoughts, the less confident we’ll feel.



Letting go of the things we can’t change helps in getting rid of some negativity from our lives which eventually prepare us to face any discomfort situations with certainty as we won’t doubt ourselves and actions anymore. We can’t change anything, so just accept that considering the circumstances, we did the best that we could.

2019 isn’t a mess after all because at least I have successfully made reading as my habit and I graduated with Vice-Chancellor Award in Diploma Business Studies. Alhamdulillah.  Thank you for all the lessons you taught me, for letting myself to make mistakes, for making me a stronger person directly or indirectly, for making myself to do something I never thought I could, and of course for preparing me to embark on a new chapter of my life.

I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for me, let us pray that I’ll get myself a boyfriend next year! Let the new year bring a new you.

Goodbye 2019, Happy New Year, everyone!

The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling - Fabienne Fredrickson
December 17, 2019 2 comments
My class ended early yesterday so as soon as I got back to the hostel, the first thing I did was cleaning my room, swept and mopped the whole house and sorted everything out before I began doing my tons of tasks and assignments that have been piling up.

Then my good friend was thoughtful enough to send a message saying how I inspired her to always be generous to others, I almost shed tears when I read her long message.

How coincidence it is because I have decided to talk about the power of kindness for my persuasive speech as I am certain that the world is lack of compassion, sympathy and it needs more kind earthlings for a brighter future for us to live.

As I was doing my research a few days ago, I stumbled upon a statement that goes this way – if a person does something kind to someone, the outcome of good deeds that person did don't end there, instead, it will keep on going and going or better called as The Ripple Effect of Kindness. I've never thought that kindness has a positive chain that can be spread out to others and according to research, these ripple effects spread emotions such as love and compassion.

When I was little, I always see my late grandfather, Tok Bah always give his money to poor people and I wondered how was it possible for Tok Bah could give away his money easily to others. It doesn’t make sense at least to me, even if someone from the village wanted to borrow some money from him, he would give extra than what was asked.

He didn’t rigid his kindness to his race only yet he would gladly help some old Chinese uncles who were probably at the same age as his. I didn’t like people who came to us, begging for money and if there were any, Tok Bah would be the first one who handed money – RM10 or sometimes RM50 happily without thinking twice. To be honest, I wish I am that generous.

As I grow older, I finally understood, why my late grandfather loved to give without asking or hoping for a return, it is the contentment we feel inside after helping someone. Doing nice things for others will boost our serotonin, the neurotransmitter that responsible for feelings of satisfaction and well-being. It seems that while being kind makes us happier, being happier makes us kinder, too.


Research also has shown that spending extra money on other people may be more powerful in increasing happiness than spending it on yourself. I guess Tok Bah had released too many good hormones and I bet he felt happy that he went to bed every day without any worries because he knew he made someone else’s life easier even if it’s only with RM10. I miss him, always have and always will.

He once told us, if someone borrowed money from you and he/she hasn’t yet paid the money, then don’t ask the person when he/she going to pay back. I didn’t understand back then because why wouldn’t you ask, it’s our money after all. Rugilah nanti. Perhaps Tok Bah was a very considerate person as he won’t ask, and the reason behind is that maybe that person hasn’t had enough money yet so don’t ask.

It’s been 6 years since he left us forever, but my late paternal grandparents would remain forever in my heart. Now that I’m big enough to think, I have decided to continue what he had taught the whole family directly or indirectly. If there's one thing I am jealous of Tok Bah is his generosity and kindness towards everyone and everything

I couldn’t remember when was the first time I belanja any of my friends but I’m glad it happened and up till this the day I promised to myself that I would always spend some money for people around me. It doesn’t have to be every day, once in a while trying to pay for my friends’ meals, or ice-cream is sufficient enough.

My parents never allowed me to work, so I don’t have extra money for myself to waste on. Everything that I give people is fully sponsored by my parents and what I do is I allocate how much I would spend on my friends. For example, presents that I bought for my friends came from the savings that I started to save a few months prior.

Whenever I treat my friends for lunch or on any meals we had, honestly it wasn’t thank you that I wanted to hear, but how they would eat with such appetite made me happy. I didn’t know spending money on others would make us happy until I read it on an article. I will keep on giving because I believe kindness will come back around and it can be in the form of anything. Having good company is also a blessing that I would treasure.

I am so thankful that someone finally able to see why do I love to give so much, I won’t think twice especially on people I love. I can safely say I already have my own The Ripple Effect of Kindness because someone inspired with the good deeds I have been doing over the years and I hope that person can inspire someone else too and I believe she will.



Never scared of having less money if you spend extra money on others because Allah SWT has mentioned in Al-Quran,

Dan (ingatlah), Allah akan melipatgandakan pahala bagi sesiapa yang dikehendaki-Nya, dan Allah Maha Luas (rahmat) kurnia-Nya, lagi Meliputi ilmu pengetahuan-Nya. (Surah al-Baqarah, ayat 261)

You don’t know how many times I actually had not enough money left but I kept to myself, and never once I felt worried. Usually, if that were to happen, my friends who borrowed money from me would pay back during that time. Then I would have money again. It might sound ridiculous, but it happens to me every time I don’t have enough money. Indeed, no one can resist – Allah SWT’s sovereign will.

Let’s make this world a better place for living by spreading kindness and create your own The Ripple Effect of Kindness until yours reach mine and mine reaches yours. Even in tough times, be nice to others and above all be nice to yourself.

Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. - Princess Diana

November 08, 2019 No comments

when I sang "UiTM Di Hatiku" for the last time in the place where it all began – Dewan Sri Temenggong – I felt honoured and proud. I couldn't believe the day I had been waiting for years finally arrived. I felt as if I’ve grown up so much because the first time I walked in UiTM Segamat was an incompetent girl who didn’t get 9As for SPM despite going to one of the best schools in Malaysia.

Di dewan untuk mendaftar buat pertama kali dan di dewan yang sama menerima Diploma.

That little girl came to Segamat a day late because she was trying to digest her written fate, she took the challenge and came with big dreams, new hopes, and seizing the opportunity to prove that even though she didn’t do well in school, yet, it doesn’t guarantee what her future looks like. She wanted to show that having an excellent result for SPM was just merely a ticket, and not an assurance for uni life would be an amazing one too.

found this in my phone

2 years and a half aren’t a short period, those peals of laughter and tears, random road trip to Melaka, accidental money spent at Jakel and Ariani, days coming back and forth KUL-Segamat by KKKL, experienced flood for the first time ever in life, had to resit for MGT300, with monkeys invading our colleges, everything suddenly came in mind, and I smiled.

gambar lama: from breakfast mamak to Melaka real quick 

Kembali sebagai seorang graduan

Geng Bawangku

If you have been following my blog for quite a while, you'd known that my uncle was from UiTM Segamat too, the exact place where both of his nieces studied. He took DIA before flying off for UK to pursue his degree. What drove me to fly higher was Pak Ngah used to be one of the scorers hence making him eligible for Anugerah Graduan Terbaik during his time. I thought it would be cool if I could do the same after more than 20 years. But alas, my dream was destroyed by Izzat Nazmi HAHAHA. Honestly, he deserves the title more than I do, and that’s okay. #stillbitter

Alhamdulillah dapat pegang

The last time I visited Segamat was when I accompanied my sister to send her FYP and that was a few months ago. UiTM Segamat was my second home for 3 years and if TGB had prepared me for my real life, then I would safely say my life was pretty much organized in Segamat and I knew what I wanted this time around. The route wasn’t so smooth as much as I imagined it would be, but the path made me realized that I am capable of doing something that I’d never thought of being and doing.

Diploma in Business Studies was my tenth choice, I doubted myself, even my parents were so worried if I could nail it, but Babah said I should give it a try so I did hence it led me to success and victory – graduated with a sling pink on my shoulder. If people said I was exaggerating with my accomplishment, I don’t mind because they don’t know what I went through back in school, the frustration on my parents’ face on SPM Result Day, it was awful and I felt useless.

My dad didn't allow me to post but I'll make an exception for my blog. Thank you for providing me more than I needed, this one is the long over-due victory I promised to give for these two. 

I wanted to pursue BENL but God gave me a different path, I remember days I was crying because it was so hard for me but I told myself – I can do this! I wanted to quit but I didn’t as I truly believe, there must be a reason why He didn’t give me what I wanted which I thought I would excel if I were to pursue that particular course. I realized that His path made me a better person, I surprised myself a lot because there are so many things that I was capable to do without my knowing.

We used to be really close, girlfriend but you are now in different class already. We both are comfortable with our classmates so we don't want to move. I hope our friendship lasts, Weena. Thank you for everything you did for me.

Manager, photograhper and instafamous in a photo.

When I first pursued my degree, I struggled in adapting to the environment, it didn't feel right at all or perhaps I was too comfortable how convenience my life was in Segamat. I went back to Segamat with my chaotic Geng Bali – and after months, everyone is still the same. We dropped by Melaka to have ikan bakar for dinner. Amal and I had to answer our FIN534 online test inside the car and thanks to my friends, we did okay.

You better love your friends, Sujep.

Sotongnya besar amat

Madam Zue taught us MKT and she made it so easy for me. She still remembers me despite I was in my last semester already. She sent me this and it means a lot to me. That scented candle looks good there.

Everything feels good again as the moment I stepped in UiTM Segamat as if - it was waiting for me to come back. 3 years ago, I came with my parents to register as an UiTM student, but a week ago, I came with my good friends as graduates. My convo trip was more about catching up session with them. Some of my friends started working as they are yet to continue degree, I am proud how far they have come, always have and always will. I have always wanted to watch Orphan but don’t have the guts to do so, then we watched Orphan before going to sleep (punya penat tu sampai 2 malam ye tengok, macam ada part 1 & part 2)


I pray that our friendship lasts.

My favorite photo ever

Told Madam Zue we had our pre-convo inside UiTM je then she said, we shouldn't waste our money for unnecessary things. It doesn't matter if we hire photographers or not, the memories we created with the people in it way more valuable than money we spent. 

The mother figure I had for a year in UiTM Segamat. Terima kasih Tuhan kerana jadikan Madam Hanim sebagai guruku. Semoga yang baik-baik untuk Madam Hanim. I asked her to cry reading my letter oh well I bet she did HAHA.

Being the sweetest person, I bought presents for my lecturers who taught me before. Sujep and Amal helped me so we wandered around Blok Pensyarah to put the presents outside their rooms. I left a note too without my phone number written because I didn't want them to look for me because I was shy. All I wanted was for my lecturers to remember me who once they taught, however, some of them managed to contact me and honestly, I was touched. Gifts for Madam Haliza and Madam Ruziah were the last ones to be placed and their rooms are at BK. We went up to BK around 6 pm it was spooky I tell ya tapi demi madam punya pasal, beranikan jugak.

penerima Anugerah Naib Canselor bersama Tan Sri Zarinah Anwar, such an honour.

penerima Anugerah Naib Canselor Sidang 5 UiTM Johor

A few days ago, Madam Hanim replied to my WhatsApp saying suruh jaga diri, ingat Allah and pray for her. Little did she knew, I always pray for my teachers, they didn't have to ask because I already do because I truly believe without them, I wouldn't get to achieve my dreams. To my lecturers, thank you for everything you did for us, energy, time spent for us, halalkan segala ilmu dan mohon titipkan doa buat saya dan yang lain-lain kerana mungkin dengan berkat doa madam, mungkin kami akan berjaya.

Susun selang-seli ANC katanya.

Geng Bali-ku.

To my friends especially Geng Bali Mari-ku, thank you for accepting the way I am, being one of my good friends, Zaf and Sol are the proof of the famous Malay line - jangan benci sangat nanti sayang because I personally hated them before and look where it got me. I had my best friend, Farah to customize their gifts, gave each of them a book with names on it, handwritten okay! I hope they like it, because I am way too far from rich to buy them something expensive, that will do for now.

Nami Island Segamat


My best friend is so talented.

Now that I have graduated with ANC for my Diploma in Business Studies, I pray that may Allah bless me with whatever I'll be taking in the future. I guess I have to let go, and move on because wherever I'll be going, there will always a special place in my heart for UiTM Segamat. If I had the chance to change anything in life, I would opt not to because maybe what I wanted might not be the best for myself thus, no regrets for what had happened, I'm thankful I was placed there for 2 years and a half.

 
From SMKAB to MRSM TGB to UiTM Segamat and now UiTM Puncak Alam. All the best to you my baby brother.

Bersama Madam Shafika, madam yang ajar waktu part 2 dan part 4. Teringat Madam Hanim cerita how her husband, Sir Syamsul liked Madam Shafika dulu. Madam lagi cantik dari aku ye, I iz stressed.

Pencuri impian AGT-ku, Izzat Nazmi. Proud of you! (I pun layak jugak HAHA)

ok pinjam kejap Izzat punya.

girlfriend ft a glimpsed of Bendera Johor

And after 3 years of wondering, this success opened my eyes – we do have our own plans, we have several lists to be achieved but those are plans that we assume might be good for ourselves hence making us forget His plans are better than ours. Our efforts do not promise victory because at the end of the day, only He gets to decide to give or not to give because our success is only by Allah SWT.


All the best to you Nisah.

Make sure ANC for degree, Durr. Work hard till you achieve what you want. I pray the best for you.

it was really good to see you, Isz. Best of luck for finals and see you in Palam in shaa Allah.

I love you, Qila. If you know me personally then you know how mischievous I am, dulu dia stress sebab I suka datang bilik dia pastu lompat atas katil dia then she said I perangai macam kartun. Keep in touch always, Qila.

Sayang sangat madam Hanim ni so I bought something special for her, glad she loves it. Doakan untuk saya selalu, madam. 

Studying in UiTM Segamat was never in my life lists, tapi takdir Tuhan mengaturkan itu buat aku. Dan kerana takdir itu, aku ditemukan dengan sahabat-sahabat yang baik, serta guru-guru yang sungguh dedikasi dalam memberikan yang terbaik. Dan kerana takdir itu juga, Dia bukakan jalan untuk kejayaan yang aku impikan buat sekian lama. Dan kerana takdir itu juga, aku sekarang seorang Alumni UiTM Johor.

The day I bid goodbye for good to UiTM Segamat.

 Please remember me always as much as I know I would. There will be no place like home.
Salam Sayang,
Sarah Hannani Zainal Abidin (batch May 16 – Dec 18)

And it may be you dislike a thing which is good for you - Ibn Qayyim
October 28, 2019 2 comments

as I'm writing this, please get in your mind that it is based on my life experience & preferences:

I figure out one of my close friends who went through a hard time (read: the partner left my friend) for someone else and what makes me sad is that it was his first time liking someone, or in other word - his first love.

To make it short, this close friend of mine, let's call him Z, was in a relationship with a girl for quite long enough, then suddenly I knew that girl is with someone else already. It breaks my heart twice first because my close friend didn't tell me, second because I knew his love for that girl was true. Up till this day, I have heard so many love stories from my close friends, be it confused feelings, the spark isn’t there like how it used to or it doesn’t feel the same anymore and etc.

I'd never thought how a person could affect someone's life that it's either make or break you. and yes, I had my first heartbreak and it was awful that I pray none of my close friends will ever go through what I had. Surprisingly, it happened sooner than what I’ve expected but that was a long time ago (not that long)

Even though I have never been in a relationship before, but the misery itself taught me a lot that I am pretty much able to put my place in my friends’ situation. Things happened, I learned, I moved on and I never been happier ever since.

Back to this Z-story, I feel bad for him that she took him for granted, never liked the girl in the first-place pun as I’ve been hearing unpleasant gossips about her so I wasn’t that surprised but they lasted longer than I’ve predicted. I talked to Z since what I went through was likely the same – heartbreak.

When it was my time, my friends were all there for me, I didn’t feel alone, not a single bit. I remembered; Sab was constantly checking on me the whole week. The first thing I saw on my phone everyday was WhatsApp message – “Sarah, okay dah?” “Sarah, have a great day ahead!”, then Farah made time to call me despite her busy schedule, and John annoyingly asking if I’m doing well (wuv you, babe). I was lucky, and I’m grateful for amazing friends, always.

I wanted to do the same to Z, but I’d never think I’ll able to do what my friends did for me back then. Then, I told him I surely know how he feels at the moment even he didn’t say it. Z said he never talked about it to anyone because he didn’t want people to see how fragile he is. Truth is, that is one of the features of feelings.

Feelings itself is a solid noun, and what makes it unique is that you can have different emotions at one time – mixed feelings. It is okay to cry if you just got break up and I don’t think you look less macho pun. Cry all you want if that will help you ease your heartache, shout if you have to because as far as I’m concerned, keeping everything to yourself is unhealthy.


In my humble opinion, cheating is a choice, being loyal to your partner is a choice too, you decide to stay or leave. Even liking someone else when you are with someone else is a tiny chance created by yourself. If you ask me personally what do I think about kesetiaan (loyalty) – it presents you as a whole, and for me, loyalty comes with a price, can you afford it? It comes with respect, honesty, trust which made it likely a diamond. Once you crack or accidentally drop it, it might unbreakable but there will be scratches somewhere that it won’t be the same anymore.

To anyone who is having a likely tough time in moving on or middle of tension situation with your partner, please prioritize yourself before anyone else. I might sound selfish but you are your longest commitment after all so do what makes you happy and what you think the best for you. Know your worth and if your partner makes you a better person, that’s a good sign. Girls will radiantly glow more than ever if they are with the right people, just like what I see in my close friend. She went through a lot, and I’m glad she found someone who makes her happy the way she deserves to!

My advice is time will definitely heal, let it go and let God. It took me quite some time to move on as well, but I've learned to love myself even more throughout the way. It is okay to cry every night before sleep; it doesn’t make you look any less weak because we humans have feelings. I’ll pray that the day of – you realized that you just don’t care about him/her anymore, and completely erased whatever nightmares you had, and trust me, there will be a person who will take your pain away in shaa Allah aamiin! If you are brave enough to love, then you are bold enough for inhuman heartbreaks.

Love cannot be found where it does not exist nor can it be hidden where it truly does – William Shakespeare
September 22, 2019 2 comments
Newer Posts
Older Posts

About Me



an old soul who lives in the 21st century. A place that I look to express what I feel and also my endless thoughts. I write more than 140 words and I share my stories in details so that if I miss those little moments I had, I can always read them again.

My Personal Favourite

doing what you love vs doing what you good at

Labels

2017 4 rata Al-Quran Anak Merdeka Bukit Jalil Business Student Espoletta Firefly Friends Good friends Ipoh Ipoh Trip Jabatan Penerangan Negeri Johor JPAM KL2017 Kuala Lumpur 2017 Love MCO Note To Self Part Time Passion PERKAD Pewaris Muda Kebangsaan Pewaris Muda Negara PM18 Poetry Ramadhan Diaries Ramadhan Kareem Salam UiTM Sayangi Malaysiaku Sea Games 2017 Sea Games 29th Edition Segamat Subang Airport Thoughts Trip Tulisan Sarah UiTM Segamat Uni Life Working Student Writing

Blog Archive

  • ►  2020 (4)
    • ►  April (1)
    • ►  February (2)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ▼  2019 (19)
    • ▼  December (1)
      • Let go of things that I can't change
    • ►  November (1)
      • My Ripple Effect of Kindness
    • ►  October (1)
      • KONVO 91- UiTM Segamat, Johor
    • ►  September (2)
      • Love can make or break you
    • ►  August (2)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  May (4)
    • ►  April (2)
    • ►  March (1)
    • ►  February (2)
    • ►  January (2)
  • ►  2018 (6)
    • ►  December (3)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  February (1)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2017 (5)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  August (1)
    • ►  July (2)
    • ►  May (1)
  • ►  2016 (5)
    • ►  November (1)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  March (1)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2015 (2)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2014 (8)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  November (3)
    • ►  October (4)

Created with by ThemeXpose