Let go of things that I can't change
If I could describe 2019 in a word, then it would be roller-coaster. There
were too many surprises, highs, countless mental breakdowns in between
throughout these 12 months. If 2018 taught me to love myself first before
anyone else, to choose myself over and over again, then I've learned to let go
of things that beyond my control this year.
I wouldn’t lie of the fact that I’m not even close to happy studying in
UiTM Puncak Alam. I have been longing for my life in Segamat that I wished God
would let me continue my degree there. Alas, He didn’t.
'
My studies have been way too rocky this year, I even forgot how does it
feel being smart. Perhaps if you were to see my brain, please send them back to
me as soon as possible. It has been a year in UiTM Puncak Alam, yet pursuing my degree there was, and still kind of nightmare and disaster I've always wanted
to avoid. Everything doesn't seem right as if I was heading to failure rather
than success. It’s not that I am not capable to do it, I obviously can but there’s something that has been missing from myself ever since I began my
degree and the fact that I don’t know what is it makes it more irrational.
And the reality is, there is no way out instead of face whatever life
throws at me whether I like it or not because it was my choice in the first
place. I hope, I have the audacity to blame others for what had happened but I couldn’t because
I knew I was the one who put Bachelor of Business Administration (Hons) in Finance as my first choice and
that’s when my heart died.
Even though I’m no longer that smart girl I used to be, but I decided to
embrace and stay true to what I love doing which is writing. And that is one of
the things that I have achieved this year. I’m holding onto it and never
letting it go because I believe one day this blog would bring me somewhere to
the place where I truly belong. Even if it’s not meant to be, my love for
telling stories and desire to inspire others through writing would remain alive.
Life can be cruel sometimes if you are a dreamer, and I understood that
there will never be an easy route to reach the point of life where I wish I
want to be. I’ve realized when we have to do something that we don’t like, we are easily directed to more, and more disappointments, dissatisfactions,
frustrations every single day.
In spite of that, I’ve learned the one who gets to decide how the future
looks like is me, myself and not anyone else. I have to be bold enough to pick up the shattered pieces left on my own because no one
isn't going to do that for me. No matter how many people rooting for us,
constantly giving us support but the battle is within us so always let
ourselves win.
When we spend thinking on something that bothers us, something that we
can’t do anything about, and when we allow ourselves to feel negative emotions hence
it would only tear us down and break us apart. Imagine, if your results are
close enough to score an A, with only 0.01 difference and you keep on
wondering if only you put some little extra effort, perhaps you could do well and secured an A. Perhaps. The anecdote is we could assume anything to happen the way we direly
want it to, but only if God says so.
Therefore, let go of the things we can’t control. Let go of the past and
move on.
We have to bear in mind things can’t always go as planned. We can’t
change the past so don’t waste time thinking about all of the ways wishing we could have done or said something differently.
We obviously can’t, so dwell on it. The more we wallow on these negative
thoughts, the less confident we’ll feel.
Letting go of the things we can’t change helps in getting rid of some
negativity from our lives which eventually prepare us to face any discomfort
situations with certainty as we won’t doubt ourselves and actions anymore. We can’t change anything, so just accept that considering the
circumstances, we did the best that we could.
2019 isn’t a mess after all because at least I have successfully made
reading as my habit and I graduated with Vice-Chancellor Award in Diploma
Business Studies. Alhamdulillah. Thank you for all the lessons you taught
me, for letting myself to make mistakes, for making me a stronger person
directly or indirectly, for making myself to do something I never thought I
could, and of course for preparing me to embark on a new chapter of my life.
I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for me, let us pray that I’ll
get myself a boyfriend next year! Let the new year bring a new you.
Goodbye 2019, Happy New Year, everyone!
The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling - Fabienne Fredrickson
The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling - Fabienne Fredrickson
2 comments
You can endure this saraaaaa, let me help you find your future boyfriend eh hahaha
ReplyDeleteDari Segamat ? Wow.. jarang nampak bloggers dari Segamat. Haha
ReplyDelete