Let go of things that I can't change

by - December 17, 2019

If I could describe 2019 in a word, then it would be roller-coaster. There were too many surprises, highs, countless mental breakdowns in between throughout these 12 months. If 2018 taught me to love myself first before anyone else, to choose myself over and over again, then I've learned to let go of things that beyond my control this year.

I wouldn’t lie of the fact that I’m not even close to happy studying in UiTM Puncak Alam. I have been longing for my life in Segamat that I wished God would let me continue my degree there. Alas, He didn’t.

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My studies have been way too rocky this year, I even forgot how does it feel being smart. Perhaps if you were to see my brain, please send them back to me as soon as possible. It has been a year in UiTM Puncak Alam, yet pursuing my degree there was, and still kind of nightmare and disaster I've always wanted to avoid. Everything doesn't seem right as if I was heading to failure rather than success. It’s not that I am not capable to do it, I obviously can but there’s something that has been missing from myself ever since I began my degree and the fact that I don’t know what is it makes it more irrational.

And the reality is, there is no way out instead of face whatever life throws at me whether I like it or not because it was my choice in the first place. I hope, I have the audacity to blame others for what had happened but I couldn’t because I knew I was the one who put Bachelor of Business Administration (Hons) in Finance as my first choice and that’s when my heart died.

Even though I’m no longer that smart girl I used to be, but I decided to embrace and stay true to what I love doing which is writing. And that is one of the things that I have achieved this year. I’m holding onto it and never letting it go because I believe one day this blog would bring me somewhere to the place where I truly belong. Even if it’s not meant to be, my love for telling stories and desire to inspire others through writing would remain alive.



Life can be cruel sometimes if you are a dreamer, and I understood that there will never be an easy route to reach the point of life where I wish I want to be. I’ve realized when we have to do something that we don’t like, we are easily directed to more, and more disappointments, dissatisfactions, frustrations every single day.

In spite of that, I’ve learned the one who gets to decide how the future looks like is me, myself and not anyone else. I have to be bold enough to pick up the shattered pieces left on my own because no one isn't going to do that for me. No matter how many people rooting for us, constantly giving us support but the battle is within us so always let ourselves win.

When we spend thinking on something that bothers us, something that we can’t do anything about, and when we allow ourselves to feel negative emotions hence it would only tear us down and break us apart. Imagine, if your results are close enough to score an A, with only 0.01 difference and you keep on wondering if only you put some little extra effort, perhaps you could do well and secured an A. Perhaps. The anecdote is we could assume anything to happen the way we direly want it to, but only if God says so.

Therefore, let go of the things we can’t control. Let go of the past and move on.

We have to bear in mind things can’t always go as planned. We can’t change the past so don’t waste time thinking about all of the ways wishing we could have done or said something differently.

We obviously can’t, so dwell on it. The more we wallow on these negative thoughts, the less confident we’ll feel.



Letting go of the things we can’t change helps in getting rid of some negativity from our lives which eventually prepare us to face any discomfort situations with certainty as we won’t doubt ourselves and actions anymore. We can’t change anything, so just accept that considering the circumstances, we did the best that we could.

2019 isn’t a mess after all because at least I have successfully made reading as my habit and I graduated with Vice-Chancellor Award in Diploma Business Studies. Alhamdulillah.  Thank you for all the lessons you taught me, for letting myself to make mistakes, for making me a stronger person directly or indirectly, for making myself to do something I never thought I could, and of course for preparing me to embark on a new chapter of my life.

I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for me, let us pray that I’ll get myself a boyfriend next year! Let the new year bring a new you.

Goodbye 2019, Happy New Year, everyone!

The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling - Fabienne Fredrickson

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2 comments

  1. You can endure this saraaaaa, let me help you find your future boyfriend eh hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dari Segamat ? Wow.. jarang nampak bloggers dari Segamat. Haha

    ReplyDelete