Procrastination: I'm A Sloth

by - April 20, 2020

Day - I don't know of MCO. Lost count already. I hope everyone is doing well wherever you are and whoever you are with at the moment. I wouldn't lie how chaotic the world has been for the past few weeks, covid-19 is no joke! 

My family and I are doing fine syukur Alhamdulillah, Kakak is working from home, my dad goes to work because he is in the essential services. He still opens his clinic for a limited time only so he'll be back before 5pm. Kiki is getting fatter each day and he got chased out by my dad because he kept wanting to go out! Then he didn't come back for a few days. That fat old cat is so annoying not even sure who is the boss.

It feels good to be back again after almost two months. I miss this space so much, I've always wanted to write more since it's MCO but that's just how I pictured myself to be, at least. The first 10 days were productive I tell you. I finished four books in two weeks, helped my brothers mowed the lawn, spring cleaning the whole house, rewatched my favourite drama and the list goes on. It was the peak of my 'bored to death' that I played Counter-Strike and got kicked out so many times. I fed up.

Then I started to play GTA again but it lasted for two days only as I find games are not my nature. I got back to reading, coming to this white site and stared at it for hours not knowing what to write. I am not sure if I am no longer interested in writing or I ran out of ideas to tell stories. I expect it to be the latter one as I can't think of anything else that I'm good at if I were to stop writing.

I was reading a history of procrastination book by Andrew Santella a few days ago, also marking my fifth book during MCO. I am surprised to know that even scholars and scientists procrastinate as the famous Charles Darwin was. In this way, we can all claim some blood relationship with him. I stumbled upon the sentence wrote by the author, where he called procrastination as "sloth in five syllables"

So apparently, I'm a sloth by heart.

Are we simply stupid or the thought of this can be done a night before; making us more productive than ever is the reason why we delay doing things? We are conscious of how little time left before the dateline yet we opt to do something else. I have learned that one of the basic rules of procrastination professed by Robert Benchley is
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment." 
I couldn't be more agreed with the American columnist.

I am always amused by my idiocy because no matter how many vows I had to myself that this would be the last time I had my assignment done last minute, I would most likely end up doing the same all over again. I believe it is not entirely about time management, but it is how to get things done correctly. We need to know where to begin if we are heading somewhere because, in every beginning, there is an end. Therefore, having a general conceptual about something is not enough as we still need a clear vision to be achieved.

When it comes to procrastination, the paradox is we suddenly become determined to do just about anything except for "that one thing." Based on my reading, it is said that procrastinators are able to keep them busy although they are avoiding their "actual work" which is precisely true. The fact that I actually know I shouldn't be doing the thing that I was currently doing makes it more illogical because why would I focus on non-urgent tasks, unnecessarily?

However, some psychologists think if postponement feeds our productivity or the deadline rush energizes us then we are not really procrastinating. If there is a good occasion to put a task off, then it is somehow acceptable. I love procrastinating yet I feel guilty for doing but I am not all that eager to stop. If procrastination were to have any goodness in it, certainly it will encourage us to ponder. It drives us to think about why we are doing what we are currently doing or not doing what we are not.

There was a time that I couldn't decide what I really wanted to do. Not only I couldn't decide whether I should procrastinate but what would be the next move that will lifelessly lead me to procrastination. I didn't want to do what I was, walking back and forth and getting nowhere. It reminded me of how important it is to have insight into what exactly is it that we want to accomplish, attain and obtain.

Indeed, it is hard to do things that we don't want to do or conversely, stop doing things we want to do. It always will be but we can get better at it if we let ourselves do so. The only excuse why it is difficult to solve is we deny that difficulty is inherent and acceptable. When things get hard, we tend to assume something is wrong so we look for ways to make things easier. It is normal wanting everything to be easy but then we wouldn't get to learn if it's in our comfort zone. When I was presenting BCSS at Project for Happiness two years ago, I remember the CEO himself, Mr Cheng told me that if it's easy then it's not learning.

We all have that devil in us who gives a false sense of gratification or satisfaction, hence stopping us from making a rational decision. But then, we know that is not a way to live. In all honesty, we have to finish off whatever we have started because we are not quitters, what more failures. If there is one thing I have learned from the book is to stop connecting completion time with relevance before we even start doing something.

“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.” -Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

You May Also Like


  1. I laughed a little bit about your story of your fluffy cat! My two cats, Leo and Dessi have been itching to go out but we don't let them since there are more stray cats hanging around our house lately. But when either the two do managed to escape from the house, they'd be stuck on a roof or got in trouble with another cat. Im so done with them ahahaha

    But back to your post, I admit I'm a procrastinator especial with top priority tasks. The "symptoms" only magnify even more now with the MCO. Creating a schedule with my google calendar helps so I can scare myself with how fast time is going. That's just one of the few things I do to facepalm myself with a sense of reality. hahahaha Nice post!