as I'm writing this, please get in your mind that it is based on my life experience & preferences:
I figure out one of my close
friends who went through a hard time (read: the partner left my friend) for
someone else and what makes me sad is that it was his first time liking
someone, or in other word - his first love.
To make it short, this close friend of mine, let's call him Z, was
in a relationship with a girl for quite long enough, then suddenly I knew that
girl is with someone else already. It breaks my heart twice first because my
close friend didn't tell me, second because I knew his love for that girl was
true. Up till this day, I have heard so many love stories from my close
friends, be it confused feelings, the spark isn’t there like how it used to or it
doesn’t feel the same anymore and etc.
I'd never thought how a person
could affect someone's life that it's either make or break you. and yes, I had
my first heartbreak and it was awful that I pray none of my close friends will
ever go through what I had. Surprisingly, it happened sooner than what I’ve
expected but that was a long time ago (not that long)
Even though I have never been in a relationship before, but the
misery itself taught me a lot that I am pretty much able to put my place in my
friends’ situation. Things happened, I learned, I moved on and I never been
happier ever since.
Back to this Z-story, I feel bad for him that she took him for
granted, never liked the girl in the first-place pun as I’ve been hearing unpleasant
gossips about her so I wasn’t that surprised but they lasted longer than I’ve
predicted. I talked to Z since what I went through was likely the same – heartbreak.
When it was my time, my friends were all there for me, I didn’t
feel alone, not a single bit. I remembered; Sab was constantly checking on me the
whole week. The first thing I saw on my phone everyday was WhatsApp message – “Sarah,
okay dah?” “Sarah, have a great day ahead!”, then Farah made time to call me
despite her busy schedule, and John annoyingly asking if I’m doing well (wuv
you, babe). I was lucky, and I’m grateful for amazing friends, always.
I wanted to do the same to Z, but I’d never think I’ll able to do
what my friends did for me back then. Then, I told him I surely know how he
feels at the moment even he didn’t say it. Z said he never talked about it to
anyone because he didn’t want people to see how fragile he is. Truth is, that
is one of the features of feelings.
Feelings itself is a solid noun, and what makes it unique is that
you can have different emotions at one time – mixed feelings. It is
okay to cry if you just got break up and I don’t think you look less macho
pun. Cry all you want if that will help you ease your heartache, shout if you
have to because as far as I’m concerned, keeping everything to yourself is unhealthy.
In my humble opinion, cheating
is a choice, being loyal to your partner is a choice too, you decide to stay or
leave. Even liking someone else when you are with someone else is a tiny chance
created by yourself. If you ask me personally what do I think about kesetiaan
(loyalty) – it presents you as a whole, and for me, loyalty comes with a
price, can you afford it? It comes with respect, honesty, trust which made it likely
a diamond. Once you crack or accidentally drop it, it might unbreakable but
there will be scratches somewhere that it won’t be the same anymore.
To anyone who is having a likely tough
time in moving on or middle of tension situation with your partner, please prioritize
yourself before anyone else. I might sound selfish but you are your longest
commitment after all so do what makes you happy and what you think the best for
you. Know your worth and if your partner makes you a better person, that’s a
good sign. Girls will radiantly glow more than ever if they are with the right
people, just like what I see in my close friend. She went through a lot, and I’m
glad she found someone who makes her happy the way she deserves to!
My advice is time will definitely heal, let it go and let God. It
took me quite some time to move on as well, but I've learned to love myself
even more throughout the way. It is okay to cry every night before sleep; it
doesn’t make you look any less weak because we humans have feelings. I’ll pray
that the day of – you realized that you just don’t care about him/her anymore,
and completely erased whatever nightmares you had, and trust me, there will be
a person who will take your pain away in shaa Allah aamiin! If you are brave
enough to love, then you are bold enough for inhuman heartbreaks.
Love cannot be found where it does not exist nor can it be hidden
where it truly does – William Shakespeare
