I was
half awake when my close friend WhatsApp-ed me asking a question that left me
wondering, am I just another an ungrateful brat or my fate happened to
be lucky.
I
replied, "hahhahahaha what question is this? It's the latter one". I
wasn't even fully awake and my mind wasn't functioning well just yet. It wasn't
a silly question that I often get by my friends, indeed it was an eye-opening
one.
Her
question was, "apa padangan kau tentang orang ni unlucky ke
ungrateful?"
I thought
it for a while that evening because I wasn't satisfied with my own replies. I
shouldn't have answered her question promptly, regardless, I still believe the answer should
be ungrateful because there are no such things as unlucky or bad luck, instead, it is a
trial from Allah SWT who wishes to see what we do in the given
circumstances. Are we patient and grateful and keep our faith firm
in Him or are we impatient and ungrateful?
After I
perform my Maghrib prayers that day, Zati whatsApped me with good news saying
that we scored well for our test paper. I honestly thought I was going to fail.
I shuddered while typing as a response to her WhatsApp, "Alhamdulillah omg
cries!!"
Then, it
made me re-think with the question that my close friend asked me that day. All this
while, I do realize that I am somewhat blessed in my own way that He has given me
good grades in my tests and examination even though I didn't and don't deserve
it. Even back in my diploma days, there were days that I only read a day
before, yet still scored above 75.
Was I
lucky or I truly deserved it?
I wouldn’t
have the guts to say any of them. Ever since I started my degree in Finance, my
studies have been shaky and rocky that I swear, I wanted to quit. It made me
rethink with the life choices I’ve made. If He were to place me with what I
actually wanted 3 years ago, would I still be struggling as I am today?
I had a countless mental breakdown in between papers. I might look as if I'm good in my
studies, but deep inside, I feel sorry for myself. If there is anyone that I
would feel sorry for, that would be myself. I love to study, I love reading, I love
getting new knowledge but I know, Finance is not where my heart is. At least
for now.
And again,
am I being ungrateful though I still get the chance to pursue my studies?
When
things don't go our way, I think we are the earliest ones to let everyone know
how frustrated we can get. We humans will hate everything, everyone including
ourselves and that's how we are. We want things to go our way all the time and
when they don't, we can turn into monsters that people who know us would get
surprised too.
But basically,
it’s just us ungrateful humans.
Why do we
forget at those days how much good was done fairly upon us? How can we forget
the simple joys, the great blessings that we once had when those good things
happened to us?
Did we
thank God at that time?
What we
see is that, if something good happens, we deserved it and we earned it. If
something bad happens then we are just unlucky. How selfish and ungrateful is
that?
We turn a blind eye to what's actually right and rather accepting, we focus on what is
wrong. We'll be complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our
world with "yes but then…" Admit it, we are all like that.
I began
to think that Allah's plan for us is true to who we are at our core, in our
very essence. His plan may not bring us fame, fortune or physical pleasure. It
might also mean giving up material comfort. Allah's plan for us may not be
what we would wish it to be. It is not luck, it's Allah's will. It is not unlucky or lucky, but it is Allah's perfect plan for us.
We might
see how some people are just so lucky and hoping that we would be in their
shoes. But have we ever questioned why God doesn't put us in certain comfort?
Maybe because we don't deserve it, or perhaps if we were to be any of them, are
we bold enough for the trials as well?
It goes
this way; if I were in someone else's shoes, let say, Maudy Ayunda, am I able to have straight of hectic weeks multitasking between writing
books, acting and singing at one time? I wouldn't think I can either!
I have
been reading a book by Ustaz Mizi Wahid, and I love how the book tells that we actually aware
of some things that we are never able to change so what’s the point of
getting too upset? We let God do His job while we do our part and that's
that.
Allah's
plan is not a fantasy, nor a dream. It may not go our way for the first time,
or the second, or even third, but at least, we tried, didn't we? It is better
to try or fight over something, rather than regretting over not trying.
I
remember a sentence that I read from a book that I failed to recall, it sounds like this, let the possibility of what your God can do for you
excite you, and supersede the disappointments of what people have failed to do for
you. What the author says is people around us will make us
feel disappointed, but Allah SWT will never let us down and upset because of He
knows ourselves better than we are.
Even if our
prayers yet to be answered, maybe God is saving something better for us. Allah
knows what is in our hearts and if He decides to bless someone with Jannah, He
will make it so your life in such a way as to keep you humble.
There is no such term as unlucky, but “destiny and
reliance on Allah and consenting to what comes from Allah.” In order for us to accept and go through something that beyond our control is to be happy because the key to happiness is on us. We get to decide to be happy or to be sad, so choose the former one. Be content with what we have and don't think about what we don't have. Count your blessings because as you become aware of them and thankful for them, you are capable of handling more blessings coming your way instead of shutting them out with a negative attitude.
"Delays
can be painful but they are certainly blessings through and through. He loves
you enough to be “late.” Surrender to God, and keep the faith while waiting." - Mizi Wahid
